just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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