I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
