well most of my day revolves around power hour
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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