i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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