i think my tv is drunk
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
