Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
everyone is single if you try hard enough
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
