I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
