He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
