and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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