i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
