Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
