Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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