I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
