I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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