Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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