oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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