I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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