I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I party with great urgency now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
