i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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