"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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