I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
