I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vagina is officially offended.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
