no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
