are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
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i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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