Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
