Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
