well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
