I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
