Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
