I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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