Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
