Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
