I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
