Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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