Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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