Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
