By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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