weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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