So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
