If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
