What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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