Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
