i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
