So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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