no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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