Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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