I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
