How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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