i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
