I feel great
I just peed on a car
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
