He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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