Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
