They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
