I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
