I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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