WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
