is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
