I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
