using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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