Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My bed smells like the plague
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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