Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
