Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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