she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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