..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize