exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dignity is for republicans.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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