If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
